I don't do well with horror movies. Ever since I was a kid, I've had this bad habit of becoming absolutely fascinated with them…and then not being able to sleep with the lights out for a week. But I love Halloween, and I'm a staunch believer in getting in the spirit. However, my tendency to cover my eyes fifteen minutes into most slasher flicks and refuse to look again until the credits have led me down an alternative road when it comes to my October Netflix orders. It is with great pride, and a history of mild bedwetting, that I present my top five Halloween movies that aren't actually all that scary:
1) Clue
Best-ever movie based on a board game. Christopher Lloyd, Madeline Kahn, Michael McKean, and Tim Curry bring all your favorite color-coded characters to life in what is arguably the campiest murder-mystery parody ever filmed.
2) Sleepy Hollow
The only connection this film has to the Washington Irving story are the character names, but the film's beautifully shot, and features Christopher Walken as the Headless Horseman (which kind of explains why I've always been so creeped out by him).
3) Sean of the Dead
I'm terrified of zombies. But not of romantic comedies that just happen to have zombies in them.
4) Ginger Snaps
Technically, this indie gem is a horror movie. But come on, the tag line is seriously "They don't call it the curse for nothing." The monster here is as afraid of Midol as it is of silver bullets.
5) The Nightmare Before Christmas
Heartwarming Halloween movie, heartwarming Christmas movie. Either way, Jack Skellington will always leave my heart all aflutter.
So this Halloween, be not afraid of psychotic death clowns, knife-fingered madmen, or, most horrifying of all, October 31st boredom.
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