Dear Dr. Jordan,
I like my liquor straight and I like my writing forward. With that said I'll get to the point: Mixers anger me. This year you allowed a mix of stolen information, sumptuous redecorations, continued cronyism, rapes and assaults to ruin the euphoria of hard education.
Several weeks ago I notified you, Mr. President, about a couple of horrible bartenders. I told you that a few of former Metro State President Sheila Kaplan's cronies - one of which was Interim Assistant Dean of Student Services Steve Monaco - had lavishly redecorated the Student Services office. This was done to the tune of $25,109.76. You did nothing.
First, let me straighten the record: Despite Metro State spokesperson Cathy Lucas' assertion that I got my facts wrong regarding the redecorations, she was unable to give a single example of this when pressed to do so.
We'll put that behind us. I'll order another whiskey and give you another chance to show you don't intend on allowing more of my drinks to be diluted. Now back to the chaser.
Monaco is a 'married' man. He's married to Greg Root, who is Metro's newbie Disability Specialist coordinator. Root applied for the job on July 27, 2005. Monaco was then, as now, in a position to hire for this job. There is only one person between Monaco and Root in the hierarchy, Access Center Director Greg Sullivan.
If I had to speculate, and that's what I'm paid to do, I would vocalize my suspicion that there were many such "counseling sessions" about the hiring process; sessions that advocated nepotism.
Nepotism: "favoritism (as in appointment to a job) based on kinship."
In an email from Monaco to Sullivan, Monaco admits this relationship, saying, "My continued involvement will be limited to ensuring that all the appropriate steps are followed…" and then he goes on to outline how the hiring process shall ensue. Are you ready for the actual steps?
Step one: Advertise the position in three mediums and for as little as one day. College policy lists eight places that positions should be advertised in order to "encourage colleagues around the country to apply for the job opening." This wasn't done.
Step two: Step away from the cranberry juice, Mr. Monaco.
Step three: Manipulate the job title and requirements. Records provided by Lucas show that Metro was seeking a Disability and Adaptive Technology coordinator. This position was advertised on Metro's Web site only. Later the title and requirements were changed. When the second title appears - the one landed by Root - the emphasis changed from knowledge of the Americans with Disability Act (ADA) to "verbal and written communications skills."
Interesting: Don't advertise the first position as required, change the requirements so that your husband is qualified and finally fail to widely advertise the new position so that the candidates will be drastically limited. It sounds like Metro really wanted to find the best candidate, but why look when someone is already in your bed?
According to the hiring committee, Root had excellent communication skills. The committee described his problem areas: "Greg will have to refresh is knowledge about ADA law; he will need to use words, which are more up to date when describing people with disabilities; Greg should learn about accommodations for people with physical disabilities." It sounds like Root can't spell ADA, referred to those he would serve as retards and doesn't know how to help them.
Angela Marquez and Shannon Chipman were the other candidates for Root's job - both are female. The hiring committee wrote that Marquez was very knowledgeable about higher education, adaptive technology, ADA law and was in touch with relevant issues. Her downfall: she did not communicate well. Chipman's upsides were her experience in the private sector and her work with diverse people. Her downfalls were that she had no experience working with college students and didn't know much about ADA law. Chipman was ranked higher than Marquez by the committee.
Put down the Coke Mr. Monaco.
I'll just come out with it: The hiring process was, according to me, manipulated.
Yet again Metro's administration gives us the moral of the story and the tip of the year: Sleep with the boss! They can give us the advice but not the equipment. Let's hope we're lucky enough to be packing properly so that, unlike the other finalists for Root's job, the boss will want to sleep with us.
Monaco's illegal excretion of needed funds, as alleged, proved too little for you, Mr. President, to rid us of his stench. I hope his cocktail of tomfoolery and nepotism will have a queer smell and taste worse. Our campus doesn't need bartenders like this, and quite frankly we don't need people who won't do anything about such mixers either.
Good day.
This is possibly the last of Nic's columns on neopotism at Metro, but no guarantees. It is running in the UCD Advocate because he is a columnist for the Advocate, and started the series in our paper because other newspaper outlets had rejected the series of columns.
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