I cheated on my girlfriend. How should I go about telling her the truth?

Dear Newly Single,

Your best bet is not to panic. You’re in deep shit already, so there is no reason to stress out about it. You made a mistake, now own up to it.

This is going to drastically change your relationship from here on out. She being unhappy and not talking to you for a couple of days is the least of your worries. You have broken her trust and it will be hard to earn it back. Earn is the key term here. She is not going to just give it to you.

Begin by sitting her down to talk. Even if she doesn’t want to, you have to explain yourself. I have seen too many great couples fall apart because of this lack of communication.

Make sure she knows how sorry you are. Emphasize that it was a mistake that will never be repeated. You’re going to have to beg and be sincere. She will be able to tell if you really don’t care.

After you’ve talked, give her some alone time. She needs to figure out if she still wants to be with you. You have really hurt her. From this point you have two paths you could take and they are not up to you. The first path is the less fortunate one—she breaks up with you.

In the event this happens it’s best for you to move on. Try not to talk to her for a while. Simply say your goodbyes and express how bad you feel and leave the situation.

If she decides by the good graces of God to give you a second chance, you have to be completely honest with her. She will be watching your every move because her trust has been shaken.

-Darin Eaton II

Dear Douche,

You are a jackass.

I assume you’re not feeling very good about yourself right now. And you deserve to be feeling that way. Even if your girlfriend is the most terrible person in the world, or you feel really guilty about it, cheating isn’t cool.

But, now that you’ve cheated it’s something you’ll need to deal with. You have to tell your girlfriend what you did. If you were dumb enough to cheat on her, you probably aren’t smart enough to keep it a secret.

When you tell her, make sure you don’t say things that might come across as condescending. Respect her intelligence and don’t call her pet names. Calling her “baby” will only make her feel like you’re patronizing her, so don’t do it. Be honest and hope that she will forgive you. Also, maybe you should wear a cup.

If your girlfriend chooses to stay with you, she likely won’t forgive you right away and she might think you’ll cheat again. But, your honesty will help your case. If she hears about it from someone else, her trust will be affected more than if she hears it from you.

You might also decide that you cheated on your girlfriend because you don’t want to be with her anymore. Maybe it wasn’t your conscious decision to cheat on her for that reason, but it’s not unlikely.

If that’s the case, you should still keep her feelings in mind when you tell her. Unless she’s a total bitch then just tell her you fucked someone else and walk away. Like a boss.

-Katie Sammons