I'm attracted to my girlfriend's sister. How I handle this mess?
Published: Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Updated: Wednesday, February 1, 2012 17:02
Dear In Too Deep,
You need to reassess your relationship with your girlfriend. If you are having feelings for her sister, then either your girlfriend is doing something to push you away or you don't like your her anymore.
Dating your girlfriend's sister is never a good option. Try to pinpoint why you like your girlfriend's sister. Figure out if she does something that your girlfriend doesn't do or vice versa. Most likely there will be some little quirk that attracts you to her.
If your girlfriend has a strange habit or attitude problem that causes you to find her sister more attractive, you need to address it. Left untreated, this could escalate and become a big problem. If nothing changes after you address the issue, then you need to move on. If she is not willing to compromise, she is not worth it. There is no point in staying in the relationship.
If you just enjoy the idea of having both girls then give up now. Sisters are second only to twins on the nutrition tree of men's fantasies. It's not going to work out for you. You're playing with fire and you will get burned.
I suggest you just forget about it and cherish the girl you already have or just dump her and find someone new. The bond between you and your girlfriend should be strong enough to cancel out all other women. If it's not then it's your job to develop it more and grow stronger as a couple or break it off and chase after the next hot young thing that catches your eye.
Any way you look at it you have to make a choice: Stay with your girlfriend or dump her.
-Darin Eaton II
Dear Sister, Sister,
This is a tricky question and there isn't an easy answer to it. The best advice I can give is to be realistic about the situation and try to ignore the feelings.
Don't let yourself believe in a cutesy fantasy in which your girlfriend finds a new guy just in time for her sister to fall in love with you. That's a bunch of crap. Your girlfriend isn't going to be happy about this when she finds out.
Even if her sister is sending you signals that make you think she's interested in you, she's probably not doing it on purpose. You have to bottle this shit up.
Think about why you like her sister; she is probably similar to your girlfriend, and since you're attracted to those qualities, it makes sense that you might develop some feelings for her. But, it's probably just a little crush that doesn't warrant screwing things up with your girlfriend.
Even if your girlfriend breaks up with you at some point in the future and you still have some feelings for her sister, you have to ignore them. Girls, especially sisters, don't like to share. Imagine yourself as a pair of jeans they fought over for years, being tugged back and forth until both girls decided they didn't want them anymore. It was off to the Goodwill for those jeans, and it will be off to match.com for you.
Plus, consider future family gatherings. Not only will it be awkward with the sisters, but being around their dad is going to suck. He already hated you banging one of his daughters, and if you bang a second one he's going to want you dead.