Hold on to hope for H Burger

It’s only been open a couple of weeks, so I’ll be nice before making any screaming judgments about this new burger joint on the north side of 16th Street. But damn, do we really need another overpriced burger in this town? I don’t think so. 

On the other hand, do we really need a stylish eatery that freezes thick shakes with liquid nitrogen, constructing them with a thick frozen layer atop a creamy underbelly of sweet deliciousness? I think so. 

Herein lies the problem with H Burger. They’ve got all the fixings to be one of those pretentious pay-$14-for-a-burger-you-could-grill-yourself places (and maybe even do it a little better). 

Then they throw things at you like an unbeatable Nutella marshmallow milkshake that’s been treated like a science project in the best of ways, resulting in the craziest roasted then frozen marshmallows that are half melt-in-your-mouth and half brittle like glass.  So, yeah, they have the monopoly on cool shakes.

But these are supposed to be burger people. And the burgers they deliver leave room for desire. Aside from their tarragon-laced Ahi Tuna Niçoise burger, and their Colorado lamb burger—topped with feta, spicy aioli, and arugula—their burgers just aren’t worth the $10 or more you have to lay down to chow down. 

They don’t even give you fries you can fall in love with. A little baggy filled with crispy yet under-seasoned potatoes does not a happy meal make. Even though you do have the option of subbing your spuds with zucchini fries, truffle-parm fries, or a few other options for a couple extra bucks, I wouldn’t, because all of these sides suffer from the same bland problem. 

The plating, however, is beautiful, and if you’re one of those diners who feasts with their eyes, then you’ll be happy with an order like the roasted pulled chicken club. Two tilting golden buns housing peppered chicken, bright green avocado, and a fat crispy onion ring is gorgeous. But if you eat it, with its overcooked chicken and flavor-dulling avocado, you’ll want your money back. 

Maybe it would be a star in a different town, but here, where there’s CityGrille and The Cherry Cricket and Park Burger, H Burger just doesn’t go that extra mile to earn the respect of hamburger-crazed patrons. 

Yet they’ll be there for you if you’re a shake-lover with their nine different, decadent concoctions (you’re even allowed to add liquor to make cocktails out of them). 

For H Burger’s sake, these inadequacies are hopefully opening week jitters that will work themselves out as the months roll on.  So, there’s still hope for H Burger to deliver the savory goods while they keep serving up their malted sweets. 

H Burger Lounge
1515 Blake St
hburgerco.com
 

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