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Oh fuck-wank-bugger-arse-head-and-hole. A woman cannot survive on salad alone. I knew that I was going to fail my salad-only diet attempt a few days into the challenge when I decided to bake cookies.
I don’t bake, ever. But I was possessed by divine impulse and I did, and things turned out pretty delicious. Which I took as God saying, “Go forth and eat your cookies, Dana. Go forth.” Who am I to deny God’s go forth? So I didn’t, and I was blessed with two pounds.
After my cookie binge I felt pretty guilty because I broke my promise to my readers (or to my one reader—thanks Cherie). As a result of said guilt, I decided to go ahead and give healthy eating a shot.
Even though the first couple of days of sugar deprivation required me having to lull myself to sleep dreaming of sucking down a thick Nutella milkshake, I’ve been surviving.
It’s interesting how much easier it is to get up in the morning now or to do my homework with some gusto. Now I’m thinking maybe all the complaining about being sick and tired that I hear from my compatriots is from diet, not lifestyle.
Next time I hear a student whining about how sleepy they are, I just might look at the Red Bull clasped between their fingers and say, “Maybe you should drink water and eat an apple.” Then I will receive a dirty look (which means that I am right).
And I’d rather be right than be drowning in my normal sugary diet and feeling like a car crash victim all the time. So, for now, it’s fruit and veg for me—and the occasional unobtainable Nutella dream.
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