Pink Stuff: So gross it's good

Every now and then I come across a recipe that sounds so disgusting that I have to try it.  This was the case with a recipe from my friend for vegetarian hot dog salad, also known as “Pink Stuff.”

My friend told me, “People make fun of you if you bring it to school, but if you have thick skin and pink stuff on your side, even the largest spitball in the world won’t phase you.” 

With an introduction like that, I had to try what I thought was the grossest recipe ever: Take vegetarian hot dogs called Super Links (they are very pink), then chop them up with forks (no cooking necessary). 

Add mayonnaise, onion, celery, relish, and mustard to coat the dogs. Toss in a little salt and pepper and then layer some pink stuff on bread. After that, you’re supposed to bon appétit!

Or maybe not, because when this meal is made it looks like cat food gone bad. I’m not going to lie, it’s scary to get past the eye-trauma and get the stuff into your mouth. 

But once it’s on your tongue, it’s kind of satisfying in that “I’m eating something disgusting” kind of way. Eating pink stuff is kind of the badass food equivalent to beating up Chuck Norris—it’s hard, it hurts, but it’s satisfying. 

In conclusion, pink stuff is slightly less yummy than the other “creamy meat salads” that can be paired with bread. And this nice vegetarian alternative to chicken, tuna, or egg doubles as practical joke vomit for your prankster needs. 

If you’re not into the whole meatlike-salad-on-a-sandwich thing, then don’t touch the pink stuff; it might turn you off of food entirely.

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