 "Photo: illustration by Joe Oliver / UCD Advocate")
Is it possible that the sun will microwave the earth? With the recent success of the blockbuster film 2012, a new wave of apocalyptic fear has ripped through doomsayers.
Public reaction to the film was so strong that NASA even posted a page on its Web site dedicated to answering the bevy of questions they had been receiving on the movie’s plot—no, they couldn’t answer why John Cusack’s acting was so bad.
The 2012 fear isn’t the only apocalyptic prediction that surges through our culture these days. A look through recent films and a quick search around the Internet reveals just a few more threats on our horizon.
Nostradamus-Prediction: Don't be scared.
Despite looking like the crazy man mumbling to himself on the bus, Nostradamus made predictions for the future that seemed to eerily come true.
Internet sites claim that if you look deeply at his work you’ll find that Nostradamus predicted George W. Bush coming to power as the Antichrist who would destroy the world, and that the 9/11 attacks would begin World War Three—which would also destroy the world. Either way, the world’s getting destroyed. They’re just covering their bases.
The problem with Nostradamus is, who was he to predict anything? During the Bubonic plague, Nostradamus handed out homemade pills created from rose pedals as a cure for the disease (and tooth decay), according to The History Channel’s Web site.
The Rapture-Prediction: Be kind of scared (especially if you're a heathen)
This is officially the only apocalypse endorsed by former television actor Kirk Cameron.
Written in the Book of Revelation, this religious view of our end days states that when the world becomes too overwrought with war, sin, and decadence—after the Antichrist rises to power—Jesus Christ will return to bring the chosen to heaven and leave the rest behind on Earth to wallow in sadness and pain.
This apocalypse gains its biggest notoriety from a successful book series called Left Behind, a video game based on the series, and lots of spooky sermons made into DVDs to cash in on the Rapture. Apparently, before writing these books, authors Jerry Jenkins and Tim LaHaye realized that the road to heaven might be a tollway and it’s best to stock up on the cash now.
Unlike many end-of-the-world predictions, this one doesn’t have a specific date of commencing, but it seems that, whenever someone who the people making the predictions don’t like comes into a position of power, that person is instantly touted as the devil who will soon begin the end.
In the past, politicians such as John F. Kennedy, Ronald Reagan, both Clintons, and our own dear President Obama have been predicted to be this Antichrist. Oh, and Pee-wee Herman too.
Asteroids-Prediction: Be damned scared
Popularized by films Armageddon and Deep Impact, this theory states that sometime soon a giant meteor will collide with Earth, destroying everything.
This threat is reasonable because scientists believe a large meteor hit the Earth, causing the dinosaurs’ deaths. Though, Pat Robertson might attribute their deaths to having never existed in the first place, but he doesn’t own a lab coat so his ideas aren’t as valid.
The real fear associated with this prediction is that we won’t have any way of stopping such a threat. Even in the world of film, the best idea we could come up with was throwing Ben Affleck at it.
Technically speaking we don’t seem to have a plan to stop it, but if a meteor the size of Texas were headed toward Earth we’d likely find out about it with more than a few hours’ notice, so we could spend our final time saying goodbye to our loved ones, looting malls, and having copious amounts of unprotected sex with multiple partners. Truly a paradise it will be.
The Robocalypse-Prediction: Already Happening
Films like I, Robot, The Matrix, and the Terminator series have pushed the idea of a future where humans create artificial intelligence so smart that it no longer sees the purpose in humanity’s existence. Then the robots decide to kill us, or, more ironically, make us their robots.
The reasoning behind this theory is a bit unclear. In the movies, the robots tend to do this as a means to protect themselves from human attack. But in reality, if they were that intellectually beyond us then they wouldn’t need to be worried about us unplugging them.
In real life, if they were to attack us with such faulty logic it would be because we programmed them with the ability to appreciate irony on a far greater scale than we.
Then of course they do, and realize they’d have to kill us to show the irony of building things to help life and make it better that actually destroy life to make it better, and this is just the beginning of the can of worms…Blue pill or red pill?
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