Is flirting ever harmless? Or does it always mean something more?

Dear Inconsiderate,

Flirting is not a harmless act. While you may or may not be interested in pursuing the person you are flirting with, you are doing psychological damage.

Consider the feelings of your significant other. How would you feel if your boyfriend/girlfriend ignored you and flirted with every person they saw? You would be pretty ticked off.

Flirting with another person only tells your partner that you really don’t care about how they feel or about them in general. You are only interested in instant gratification and obsessed with outside opinions. Your partner’s love is not enough for you.

Your significant other will feel bad about themselves. They will think they are not good enough for you and either break up with you or become very jealous. Ask yourself why you flirt with other people. Are you doing it when you’re with your partner or when they aren’t around?

If you are doing it for attention, then sit down with your significant other for a much-needed talk. They might not be giving you the attention you need. Bring examples of this with you. You need to make a strong case in order to make a difference.

If they give you plenty of attention, you may have a deeper self-esteem issue you need to clear up. You don’t need acceptance from everyone you see to know you are a decent person.

Really consider your partner’s feelings in all of this. You already have someone who cares about you and knows you better than most people under the sun. Flirting with other people will ruin all of that.

-Darin Eaton II

Dear Boring Guy at the Bar,

I have a confession to make: I’m a flirt. Just like R. Kelly, except I’m attracted to adult men. Sometimes it can lead to awkward situations with creepers, but in general it’s quite harmless.

There’s nothing wrong with giving someone a little bit of special attention, and that’s all flirting is. Of course it might lead to something more, but what action doesn’t? I say go for it. Flirt to your heart’s content.

Flirting is fun and sometimes it just happens, especially after a few whiskeys. But, if I get the vibe that I’m making someone uncomfortable, I move on. If they’re not having fun, the flirting isn’t fun, so why bother? Move on and find someone else whose terrible jokes you can giggle at.

Flirting doesn’t mean that a relationship isn’t platonic. One playful punch to the arm doesn’t equate to love. If your flirting means more to someone, hopefully they will use their big-kid words and let you know how they feel. Then you can either stop flirting or move to the next level.

Keep in mind that flirting should always be fairly PG—maybe PG-13 if you’re charming enough to get away with dirty jokes. But, if you cross the line from batting your eyelashes to swapping spit, it will likely mean more in the long run. Make sure you balance that fine line between flirt and slut and you’ll have nothing to worry about.

When it comes down to it, flirting is fun. That is why it happens and why it will continue to happen forever. So chill out, flip your hair, and don’t worry so much about what it means.

-Katie Sammons