Bathrooms for the bashful

Shy students on campus might be too preoccupied with term papers and exams to think about where to go to the bathroom. But when nature calls (when you need to discharge fecal matter from your body), such students are confronted with a dilemma: most public restrooms at Auraria Campus are strikingly similar to prison showers.

Yes, high-traffic restrooms on this campus are overcrowded and privacy is not to be found. And if you've ever opened a stall door, you might wonder if there's a small group of students dedicated to clogging toilets and urinating on the seats. But no worries, there are some low-profile toilets peppered across campus.

So take a trip to the Central Classroom. On the third floor, there is an isolated set of bathrooms near the Metro Department of Accounting and Business. You may think that the location in indiscrete, but notice that there is a lockable dead bolt on the door. If all you want is privacy, then this is your best bet. Hell, it's pretty quiet up there too. So get some homework done while you're at it, and there's enough room for a friend to join you for group study. But please, let's keep things platonic.

However, word will get out about this isolated abode soon. So the next best bet is in the Plaza Building, straight across from Room 160. The bathroom is nestled in a corner close to some elevators. The door doesn't lock, but the restroom is rarely used and kept clean.

If neither one of these works for you, then the only option left is to invade the faculty departments. But be warned: these bathrooms are meant for esteemed intellectuals and undeserving teaching assistants. The fifth floor of the King Center, home of the UC Denver Department of Political Science, is a good place to start.