Standard issue thefts and arrests

Fatigued criminal pursuit

At noon on August 3, a UC Denver student reported to the Auraria police department that her purse was stolen from the Event Center while she was working out. The purse contained her cellular phone and phone charger. After the workout, she showered and headed to class. Upon leaving the gym, the victim saw the perpetrator with purse in hand, but she was too tuckered out from her workout to pursue him.

Did it for the kids

At 12:25 a.m. on August 8, Auraria police arrested a man with no campus affiliation at 12th and Auraria Parkway on a warrant for his arrest after failing to appear in court on a larceny charge. Upon the arrest, the man had his five-year-old son in the backseat. As it turns out, the man missed his court date because he was in the middle of a heist at Baby Gap.

Jailhouse rock

At 1:55 p.m. on August 14, a Metro student was issued a DUI at the corner of Speer and Larimer Street. The student told police that he was just living it up one last night before the fall semester started again. However, the real party started in detox.

There will be blood

At 7:30 a.m. on August 23, a 5'5" white male, age 40-50, was having difficulty using and ATM in the lobby area of the financial aid office in the South Classroom. It was reported that the man walked away from the ATM saying loudly, "If I don't get my money, there will be blood." However, he didn't mention that if he did get his money, a ray of sunlight would beam through the clouds and woodland creatures would amass around him.