Everyone knows the Grammys are irrelevant. Right? Well, in case you didn’t, the tedious awards show proved it this Sunday in a staggeringly out-of-touch three and a half hours worth of nonsense. They’re not even trying to pretend these awards are real anymore.
Host Stephen Colbert started off the night with a statement that said pretty much that. The night definitely was, as Colbert half-joked, a testament to “the right of celebrities to congratulate one another.”
Besides the oversaturation of fresh faces like Taylor Swift and Lady Gaga, the show acted as a who’s who of crummy artists whose biggest hits came out over 10 years ago.
We got to see a self-important version of “21 Guns” with the cast of the upcoming Green Day musical (which was not, as I hoped, a joke from Colbert), a song from the consistently-bland Dave Matthews Band, and constant prompts to vote online to pick the hit Bon Jovi would play. Unfortunately, “Please don’t play” was not an option.
So, I made my own option: I turned off the TV before more aging, self-involved rockers pranced in front of me in expensive costumes. And now, I’m wondering why music awards shows even exist.
Movie award shows make sense. According to the Motion Picture Association of America, 610 films were released in the U.S. in 2008. That’s a manageable number, and it’s reasonable to pick the best from a number like that.
The number of albums released in America each year? Between 27,000 and 35,000, according to the Recording Industry Association of America.
It’s preposterous to assume that anyone could listen to all of these albums, let alone choose the best. Almost as preposterous as a Green Day musical. Almost.



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