IGNORANCE IS BLISS, HEAPHONES MAKE IT SO

There are many reasons why I listen to music. One of them was to escape the torturous political onslaught of zombie bites by Obamney, and the other is to ignore dumbass people.

I always make sure my headphones are on before I reach Colfax every morning, so if a homeless dude approaches me I point to my headphones. I’m usually listening to something heavy that reflects my sour mood of not being in bed, and to slaps me into consciousness, bands like Slipknot, Pantera, or Lamb Of God. I think most homeless people find this as rude and disrespectful as obligating a person to give them money every day.

 I wouldn’t know if they were giving me a lesson in proper manners or not because with headphones on they look like nagging girlfriends ranting the same old boring stuff about commitment, toilet seats, and committing to putting down toilet seats.

The beautiful thing about headphones is that you can wander around like a blithering idiot—the true core of my being—with music that usually induces a false sense of amazing confidence that has me strutting through most of the day.

After getting on the bus and nearly halfway to campus, I’ve already ignored a few dumbass conversations: one about politics, another about weather, a couple having a “quiet” argument, and a phone conversation about grandpa’s bowel movements.

I’ve also switched from my eardrum ass-kicking of heavy metal to something way less angry like “When The Levee Breaks” by Led Zeppelin or “The Flame” by The Black Keys, so my head that’s held high doesn’t have gritting teeth.

As the bus rolls up on campus, if the bus driver isn’t a complete maniac, I’ll doff my cap and acknowledge his existence before exiting the bus on campus like I just got out of a stretch limo listening to “Another One Bites The Dust” by Queen or “Stayin’ Alive” by the Bee Gees.

By the time I’ve reached my first class I’ve ignored enough dumbasses, so that it doesn’t have any affect on my attitude, and I can walk around with my head held high.