PRESIDENTS SHOULD SING SEXY LOVE SONGS

If the presidential candidates were running off of musical merit alone, then Barack Obama would win the presidency by a landslide—even without Bruce Springsteen’s endorsement and with Roseanne Barr still holding the most infamous music moment of them all.

Other than Bill Clinton, I’ve noticed that Obama has had more musical moments than any president. Having been alive when Ronald Reagan and both Bushes were president, I guess that isn’t saying much. It just seems like Obama belongs on a stage in more than one way.

During speeches when Obama gets started singing it doesn’t seem like he wants to stop, but he does. I think one day he won’t be able to control himself and he’ll just end up straying from his speech and rolling into an hour-long concert catering to the crowd with Motown oldies but goodies.

He’ll swoon the ladies with his vocal sex like Tom Jones; the sexually attracted wouldn’t be able to control themselves, and they’ll end up throwing knickers, bloomers, thongs, and granny panties onto the stage.

I’m sure Obama would stroll around the stage with as much class as Frank Sinatra singing Al Green, “I——I’m so in love with you/Whatever you want to do/Is alright with me/Loving you forever is what I need.” After he dedicates the next song to his lovely wife Michelle Obama, a storm of roses would ensue onto the stage from the crowd.

The thing is that I don’t think anybody would stop him if he did decide to break into song. Even secret service dudes would pull out their earpieces, loosen up their ties, and groove to the silky smooth jams of the Commander in Chief. I’m sure Bill Clinton would make a guest appearance with his saxophone, which would send the Homeland Security Sexiness Advisory System shooting way past the red “severe.”

If the resident seriously decided to do this—which would be more than awesome—I would change my third party vote without thinking twice. This would show a more musically harmonious president that cares about having a good time as well as getting the job done.