YO ADRIENNE A FIGHT

Nothing cheers me up more than a fight at a concert—a close second is a fight anywhere; I’m not picky.

Two weeks ago at the Coheed & Cambria show a fight fell right into our Advocate group, spilling most of our alcoholic beverages—surprising the shit out of us.

After that first split second, the punching started to last long enough to let me think, “Should I break this up, or should I see where this fight goes?” as a conscientious observer of sorts, of course. But before I could make a decision—maybe I already kinda did make a decision—someone pulled the fists of fury off the dazed and confused.

Call me old fashioned, but it was also a primal woman fight, and those have always proved to be much more enjoyable, with the potential to display more ferocity than your garden-variety man fight.

I’ve enjoyed seeing skulls get busted since I got a lifelong scar on my left cheek—face not ass—at the age of three in a brutal nursery fight. Just kidding—my brother threw an oversized stuffed animal at me causing me to flop my head back onto an unsafe 80s nursery table.

But the brotherly love I wanted to unleash on him stuck with me ever since. I think the unchained anger involved in fighting excites me, when both participants hold the same sentiment toward each other.

There are many different types of dumbasses at concerts who can cause fights. I’ve always thought fights kept those dumbasses in check, or I’ve always liked to think so. There is typically that one dude who had one too many beers, and most likely went to a show just to pick a fight. He deserves to get clocked.

You also have that one super fan who needs to get just a little bit closer, slipping through the tiniest gaps, nudging people out of the way so he/she can get to the stage and hopefully pluck a hair from the frontman’s luscious locks. If these fans liked the band so much they should’ve gotten there sooner, especially if they spill alcoholic beverages.

I could be wrong, but I think this was the type of woman that got her ass kicked at Coheed. Either that or she looked at her opponent funny.