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The Hairy Eyeball

jef cartoon

I swear, California, stop wasting my time

I was considering giving up swearing for Lent. I didn’t. I gave up smoking instead. Nevertheless, I can kind of see why the California Legislature would want to have a “Cuss Free Week,” which was supposed to have taken place the first week of March.

Ask a Black guy

bryancolor

T-Pain may or may not sound like Chris Tucker

What does T-Pain sound like without Auto-Tune? —Courtney, Undeclared Liberal Arts Dear Courtney, How coincidental. This exact subject actually came up at the NAACP meeting I went to last week. Barack Obama speculated that T-Pain probably sounds like the black guy in the All-State commercials.

bryancolor

What do you think about white guys with cornrows?

Dear Ekram, white men should never have cornrows.

Point/Counterpoint

Point: Women are succeeding, but at what cost to men?

Until the last 30 years, men have always outperformed women in higher education.
According to the National Center for Education Statistics, in 2009 women enrolled in larger numbers, graduated at a higher rate, and maintained greater GPAs through college than men.

Counterpoint: Who cares?

According to predictions from the Department of Education, this is the year women will outnumber men 3 to 2 in college enrollment. Oh, the horror.

Point: Children should be educated, not indoctrinated

Take a guess at what word the following description defines: “A systematic effort to destroy an individual’s former loyalties and beliefs and to substitute loyalty to a new ideology or power.” Sound like your college education? Then you’re close, because this is the Encyclopedia Brittanica definition of brainwashing.

Counterpoint: School should teach, not cater to parents' whims

If you challenged teaching math in schools, you’d be called an idiot. So why do fundamentalists not get the same treatment when they challenge teaching science? A recent bill, which got shot down, would have allowed students to opt out of classes that might upset their religious sensibilities.

Point: Scott Brown was about apathy and a crappy campaign

True, polls show that Massachusetts voters are upset about health care—they’re upset because real reform has been killed off by the blue-dogs and obstructionists in the Senate. It’s not about Obama.

Counterpoint: Scott Brown shows moderates are turning conservative

Republican candidate Scott Brown won the special senatorial election in Massachusetts Jan. 19 because President Obama’s health care reform has caused independents to lean toward the right.

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Advocate Wants to Know


Opponents of allowing grocery stores in Colorado to sell liquor say that changing the status quo would hurt the “little guy”—namely, liquor stores. What do you think?

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James Kong

Business, UCD

“It depends if the grocery stores are open late. It won’t hurt liquor stores if they stay open just as late as the grocery stores.”

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Alexandra Moslovskaya

Business, UCD

“I think businesses will really be hurt and some will shut down. There will just be too much competition.”

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Amina Abdella

Criminal Justice, UCD

“Lots of people go to places like Wal-Mart for everything else, and if liquor is already there, people won’t be inclinded to go somewhere else. So yes, small liquor stores will suffer.”

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Mike Fostag

Business Management, UCD

“It will hurt in the long run. It will be more convenient for me to get it Sunday after 10 p.m.”

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Francisco Delgado

Communications, UCD

“It depends on the prices. If prices are lower at the grocery store, then people will pay the lower price and smaller liquor stores will get hurt.”

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Brenna Fitterer

Communications, UCD

“If you’re going to buy liquor, you’re going to go to a liquor store. They’re still going to have more variety than a grocery store.”

The Comment

21704-kittypic-TFitzgerald

Releasing J.D. Salinger's manuscripts would violate a recluse's privacy

Like the football captain who wants to redefine “no” for his prom date, literary historians are arguing to preserve and maintain the 15 manuscripts found in J.D. Salinger’s safe—even though Salinger explicitly ordered the manuscripts burned in his will.

1 comment

Everybody is a little bit racist

You are all a lousy bunch of racists, and to imply otherwise would make you racist liars.

Shutting down dispensaries is a dumb plan

Medical marijuana is more than a hot topic on the news; it’s become one of Denver’s only growing industries. But with that boom, there’s been an echo of disapproval from citizens, lobbyists, and lawmakers. Once again, the current laws on the books for caregivers and dispensaries are being gone over with a fine comb.