Roseanne Barr: for reasons more than just shits and giggles

Roseanne Barr is running for president. I’m fucking serious folks. Barr is a working class heroine-comedienne that’s spent all her life observing people.

She understands people better than any other politician, and unlike most politicians she is a human, not an alien or robot.

Our government is stuck in a rigid two-party system that only budges when it hears it can improve its golf game. A third party needs to ruffle some feathers in our government, and challenge these old angry, dominant roosters. It’s time to snuff the roosters.

That’s where Roseanne comes in. Most people aren’t going to take her seriously because she doesn’t have any experience in politics. But that’s exactly what this country needs. We don’t need another politician wondering what they think is best for people in his district, state, or country. The majority of America is middle class, so the majority needs to vote on someone that understands them better, not some douchebag politician.

Barr would do a good job at breaking up the two-party hardheaded sibling rivalry that the Congress household has been running rampant in for decades. Barr would use her motherly knack and no bullshit sass to whip these miscreant politicians into shape instead of just sending them to their rooms. Barr told The Daily Beast, “When I’m president, I’m gonna outlaw bullshit.”

If elected president, Barr would cut back on our country’s extraneous military spending on bases in other countries and bring troops back home. She would also put her foot down on big corporations outsourcing much-needed jobs overseas, and tax the upper class more. Barr believes in equal rights for all Americans, and thinks the government should butt out of our love lives. She also wants to create a single-payer health-care system like Canada and the United Kingdom.

To vote for someone like Roseanne you have to stray from the popular two parties. Many people in the America, along with the biased media, make you think you have to vote for a Democrat or a Republican. I’m sick of always voting for either a jackass or an elephant that shits anywhere and everywhere it walks.

If enough people vote for a third party, there can be a third party. Most people are scared of taking away votes from the lesser of two evils, but you should remember you’re still voting for an evil. You may think that if you vote for a third party you would be wasting your vote, but your vote will count, just not for the Republican or Democratic Party.

A two-party system is only one party more than a monarchy, and is a raging two-headed dragon. A two-party democracy sounds like an oxymoron. Voting for a third party is a knight in shining armor and exactly what our democracy needs.

So let’s all vote for Roseanne Barr for president and rattle the system for once. I’m known for saying pretty much anything for a laugh; this is not one of those times. I’m fucking serious. Take a moment to actually think about this instead of just brushing it off like a funny water cooler joke.