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Utopian societies are filled with guns, freedom, and crazy people

Photography Editor

Published: Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Updated: Wednesday, February 20, 2013 04:02

TheCitadelWeb

illustration: courtesy of iiicitadel.com

Extremists have done it again. They’ve taken the concept of the gated community and multiplied it by a thousand.

Some Americans have decided that this country is going to shit and rather than try and help fix the problems they have decided to hide from them. They are taking their ball and going to the Citadel where one can wait out the destruction of the United States of America, tax-free.

Recently there has been some talk about creating towns that separate their residents from the rest of the country. The idea of these towns is to create a space where Thomas Jefferson’s Rightful Liberty ideology can flourish and patriotism can be part of every family.

In essence these communities are trying to create a Utopian society, an idea which has been proven to fail because there is always going to be someone who shits in the hot tub.

The Citadel is one such ideology that is planning to debut sometime in 2013.

These idealists are looking for land to purchase in the mountains of Idaho, because nothing says “I never want to be heard from again” like living in the American Redoubt.

The funding for this project and employment for families planning on moving in to this cult—I mean community—is coming from none other than a firearms company called III Arms.

Unfortunately, they don’t let just anyone in. For a measly $208 processing fee there is an application one can fill out. However, the process starts with reading their patriot agreement with thirteen sections that you must agree to with what the Citadel states as live ink signature. It ends with you being approved or denied sometime after four to five months.

Once approval has been achieved a house that you design starts getting built. And don’t worry about HOA fees or taxes; there aren’t any.

The number one priority of this society is making sure the people don’t become lazy freeloaders.

III Arms plans on being a key member of this society, and it plans on hiring the first round of pioneers headed to this new community.

Of course, when you have a place that is teeming with this much awesomeness why not build a tourist attraction out of it? Which is exactly what
the residents of the Citadel
plan to do.

The Citadel will look exactly like a medieval castle but will also have a firearm museum, RV Parks, bed & breakfasts, high-end hotels, fishing, hiking, skiing and even—you guessed it—hunting.

Building a utopian society takes hard work and planning, but, then again, who
knows because it’s never successfully been done, which is why it’s so revered.

Cultures and places like Atlantis and Plato’s The Republic have only existed in theory and in writers’ minds, but the Citadel is going to give it the old college try.

Just remember—if liberty has been missing from the life of your family, consider the Citadel for your new home, unless you are a Marxist, Socialist, liberal or establishment Republican.

 

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